Why Pharmacists Love Fishing....

Fishing is a very old form of recreation.

Actually, it was meant to be a form of subsistence,but men quickly found out that everyday chores like cleaning sabor toothed tiger rugs and starting fires, could easily be avoided while lazily floundering at sea-well out of the earshot of Mrs. Cro Magnonson.

One way you can tell that fishing is very old,is by the vocabulary and words that were formed to describe the acts of fishing.

Let me explain.

Words like "fish", "net", "worm", "bait", "row", "carp", "hook", "boat" and so on are words that we use to describe fishing.

Much like having an account at your local bank that reads number "0124"--the use of three and four letter words must have been used early on in the timeline of the"word forming process". So, just like being an early customer of that bank with a low account number, the two or three cavemen that sat down around the ring of fire and started forming gutteral sounds to help describe actions, obviously tried to keep the syllables to a minimum, and then progress into multi syllable words as language moved forward.

Why work harder than you had to?

"Grog" might have pointed to that "thing" in the water and grunted out "FFHHIISSHH".

Lo and behold, that "thing" became a "fish".

OK-- that may not be the most accurate depiction of how words were created, but you still get the point, that it would make sense that the less complicated words of language must have emerged early on , in the communication process.

Good thing too, because by nature, fishermen don't communicate much.

In fact many of the same gutteral sounds uttered by early man, are still used today, especially when fishing.

"Beer"

"Huh?"

"Beer!"

"Here"

"Thanks"

And that is a rather chatty session.

Sometimes, it's just "odd body sounds" that help make up a good heart to heart fishing buddy chat.

But that's another topic.

Enter the pharmacist.

Modern medicine and it's seemingly endless discovery of new wonder drugs, is obviously a modern day phenomenon. Sure, they used to be called "drugs",(and again keeping with the one syllable- been around along time theory) which was easily grunted out and then administered after the "medicine mans" lengthy disco fire dance and ritual.

Now, they are called "pharmaceuticals".

Whoa, that alone ought to tell you these things haven't been around very long.

Maybe it was early man's propensity for wacky ritual and lengthy fire dance,before sending the patient into his herb induced hallucination, that evolved into today's lengthy names for "pharmaceuticals".

Kind of a disco fire dance with words, before treating Grog's hemmorhoidal itch.

Names like:Esomeprozole magnesium, Acetaminophen, aminoglutethimide,carbidopa levodopa, medroxyprogesterone,and my personal favorite,Desogestrelethinylestradiol.

Try running those through your spell check!

Or, if you happen to be a Cro Magnon-try gruntin' one of those words out of your larynx.

Could you imagine having a nice twenty five inch rainbow trout laying broadside next to the boat and having to ask for the Fluticasone Propionate, so you could get your Propylthioracil Lederele on board.

That's enough to give a fisherman gastroesophogeal reflux disease.

I don't know about your pharmacist, but my pharmacist is a man of few words-AND IT IS NO SMALL WONDER!!

After a day of flutacusamotapheneolathenes, and arythamythaprophalactix, --"hello" and "thanks" are about all the poor chap can muster up.

Just like the plumber who most certainly has no interest in replacing a washer in his own faucet, the last thing a pharmacist wants to do when he gets home is use multisyllabic words.

If we are only given so many syllables in this lifetime, a pharmacist would hate to have spent his allotment on Mrs. Weinstein's festering Histoplasmosis.

So. "Dave", my pharmacist, goes fly fishing.

And I've got to think, that "Dave", couldn't have helped being drawn to this simplistic recreational pastime we call fishing, in part because all he needed was a "rod", "reel" and "fly".

It doesn't get much simpler than that.It's like dropping into a soothing tub of monosyllable words.

Anything more would be a real cause for using hydrochlorothorizide.....

Fishing Injuries....Are You Joking??

Who would have thought?

When you think of fishing, you seldom envision too many things that can keep you from partaking in this recreational activity.

Think again.

I am on the disabled list.

That's right, in rehab-- to much pain to cast my fly. Or my powerbait for that matter.

Now, complaining about a "fishing injury" is sorta like complaining that a hangnail is keeping you from typing.OOHH poor baby! Nonetheless, I am telling you, I am in too much pain to cast.

I didn't exactly get injured fishing, so if your first thought was: "What, did he pull a muscle setting the hook?" Or "Does he have 'fisherman's elbow' ?" "Did he fall out of his folding lawn chair?"

You would be wrong.Although negotiating a lawn chair can be tricky business, especially while holding a beverage.

Actually, I am not one hundred percent sure how I got injured, but it might have had something to do with doing a face plant--or shoulder plant to be exact-- onto the basketball floor while playing a loosely resembled game of basketball.

I say loosely, because fi you saw the "brand" of basketball we play here in the "old boys" basketball league here in Southern Oregon, well--you would know what I mean.

As it was, I was already nursing a pulled hamstring, when as I limped along like a struggling Wildebeast, my shoe grabbed tight hold of the freshly finished hardwoods, and dropped me like a Douglas Fir sapling. Unfortunately, my "catlike" reflexes were unable to respond to the sudden pull of gravity, and I crashed shoulder first into the floor.

Sharp pain--no more basketball...

....or fishing.

I now have what modern medical technology has deemed as the "torn rotator cuff".

Move over Pedro Martinez, my pitching career may be over.

If you have never had a torn rotator cuff, then you will not know the pain I am in. If you have, then you will understand the strange feeling of being able to pick up seventy pounds in one direction, but the problematic task of combing your hair can drop you to your knees in anguish.

Luckily, I have no hair.

Even trying to turn your steering wheel, wax your car or picking up a pot of chili can make you wince in pain.

Of course, chili can make you wince in pain for other reasons--but that is a different story.

Reaching back into the cooler for a beverage? No can do Elmo--we are talking major problems here.

Naturally, it is my right arm--my casting arm-- and even though I don't exactly throw a ninety mile an hour roll cast, the casting motion definately brings out some really creative and colorful language.

So, for now it is the disabled list, while I ponder surgery or therapy, hoping there is an off chance that it is really really bad tendonitis just flaring up like an air bag in my shoulder.

There isn't enough ibuprofen on this planet to ease the pain when it hits you.

I mentioned that I wasn't really sure how I tore the rotator cuff--because when you think about it, the art of casting is similar to the art of pitching or throwing a baseball.(baseball or throwing is probably the most common cause of torn rotator cuffs)

Who is to say that the numerous hours spent trying to get just ten more feet of casting length has not taken it's toll on my casting arm.Pumping and wrestling in salmon and steelhead could surely put wear and tear on the shoulder also.

Maybe I should just hang up the ol' waders and call it a career?

Give up fishing? No way!!

Even if I have to go back to dangling a worm and bringing in a "relief" reeler, rest assured I will be back out there soon tossing casts into mighty rivers. I just might have to work my way back up by casting on creeks and catching smaller fish during "rehab".

Probably will have to pour smaller drinks too!

So beware of those fishing injuries, they can really put a crimp in your fishing life.

And if you see some guy stretching and warming up by tossing short casts ten feet out into the water--you just might want to ask him how his rotator cuff is doing.