Looks Good In the Driveway

I hate boat motors...

...and anyone who knows me, knows that boat motors hate me!!

As a card carrying fisherman, it is inevitable that at some point you will own some sort of floatation device to get you to "pristine" waters. Along with that fact comes the high probability of owning a gasoline powered "time and energy saver"--called the boat motor.

Let's face it, all "pristine" waters are not downstream or even on moving water, so unless we want to walk, use conventional paddle power, or get beamed to our favorite spot by "Captain Scott"--the boat motor is our best chance of spending more time fishing and less time getting there.

HAH !!!

Maybe for some guys, but not for me.

Let me explain.

This past weekend, which was supposed to be the rescheduling of "grandpa's pond", we decided instead to take our fishing boat/ski boat/ bank account drain out to one of our local lakes. At this time of the year the lake is chock full of water-- and trout. The "pristine" spot that we usually go to is quite a hike for an adult let alone our five year old daughter, so we like to get there by boat. In the past, I have used a six horsepower Evinrude to motor my driftboat to the "secret" spot where we spend the day catching lot's of fish and enjoying the solitude. Since my Evinrude is evidently powered by six "Shetland ponies" it usually takes us an hour to get to our spot.

It takes three hours to get back.

Not because we are heavily laden with fish or heading into a strong headwind-- but because I typically have to row back since the motor breaks down.As boat motors go, it would make a pretty good anchor.It has happened on more than one occasion, and I believe that the "Shetlands" can only go in an easterly direction-- because they never seem to want to go west,back to the docks. I was kindly towed back the first time it broke down, but the disgrace and riducule I suffered through while sitting in my disabled vessel prompted me to vow to never seek assitance again.

Much to wife and daughters displeasure.

I don't know why? The lack of a boat motor that can complete a full round trip excursion, has led to some impromptu romantic evening paddles across moonlit lakes.

And they say fisherman aren't romantic!!

Despite the efficiency of completing a three hour aerobic excercise while fishing, the unreliable Evinrude has certainly blown a hole in the" more fishing and less time transporting" theory.

I know what you are saying. Why don't you carry a spare "kicker" motor or electric motor to at least get you back...?
...what-and show a lack of confidence in my Evinrude!! I'd rather row. Or I could-- as I did last year, purchase a bigger, better, newer and more reliable boat. Seems like perfect logic to me.

At first it operated swimmingly getting us to more fishing spots faster. I now had one hundred and fifty horses --thoroughbreds to take me in style, with the wind in my face--both directions!!
Then towards the end of the season in late October the horses began to go lame. I battled half a day trying to get it started, not realizing that at 5500 ft. the motor had to be handled differently.
Something about "choke" and "advance"?? I don't know, I just like to get in and GO!

Thoroughbreds are apparently more tempormental.

At least my Evinrude would usually have a legitimate and vindicative reason for breaking down. I would take it in, and there would be metal parts floating around or pins broken off or fouled plugs--but not some prissy spoiled reason like needing more gas or OXYGEN at higher elevations.

Winter came. And winters are hard on boats.

I swore all winter long I would "winterize" my boat. Instead, I just let it sit there in the driveway looking cold and neglected, promising to build an insulated boat storage shed for my thorougbreds.

So, it has been with great apprehension that I have been waiting for this moment...the moment when I would fire up the one hundred and fifty horses strong, and ask them to race me once again into the wind to the fishy promised land.

Nothing.

No clicks, no sputter,not even a feeble attempt to try and turnover. Jeez- we can keep spaceships from burning up upon reentry into Earths atmosphere-but we can't make a battery that can withstand an Oregon winter? I know, what did I expect--treat a thoroughbred like a nag...

Anyway, I got the rest of my house painted this weekend.

And my boat?

Well, it sure looked good in the driveway!!